Euro 2008 LIVEBLOG: France vs Italy

GROUP C	June 17, 2045 CET, Zurich (Switzerland)
France 0 VS Italy 2   Pirlo (p) 25′ De Rossi 62′

OK, we’ve got a LiveBlog extravaganza on here. Because it would be unfair for Laurie (France) or Chris (Italy) to be LiveBlogging this individually, we’re going to have them both doing it simultaneously, with myself arbitrating. Should be… interesting.

Chris: Karma has taken over for that Romanian debacle.
Laurie Sigh
Laurie I actually sighed as I was typing that.
Chris: Here we come, Espana.
Laurie Don’t choke yet, Spain!

Laurie Last international game for: Henry. Probably Makelele. And we won’t see Sagnol or Thuram in bleu again either. And probably not Vieira. This makes me sad, but it needs to happen

FULL-TIME
Chris: THROOOOOUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

90+ Toni shoot. Guess what? Yes, wide.
Chris: Oh good christ Luca.
Laurie That one was close, though. But he’s not looking like a great choice for your fantasy squad at this point.

Chris: Luca Toni looks like he swapped his arms with his legs. No clue what’s going on there.
Chris: Zambrotta pulls out an ode to Massimo Oddo.

Chris: MOTM: Eric Abidal
Laurie I would have to agree with you.
Laurie But I’m proud of my boys for not curling up and dying.

90′ Three minutes of added time.

Laurie I’m thrilled to finally see Toulalan playing for France the way he plays for Lyon.

Chris: France is looking like a hospital ward right now.
Laurie Oh, no, not Toulalan!
Chris: Nice glasses, Rayray.

2-0 to Netherlands now.
Chris: YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA VAN PERSIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

LaurieAnd yes, I can’t imagine Domenech having a job after this. Today was bad luck, but his decision to go with the older players and using the younger ones only as afterthoughts kept us from having options when the old guy strategy didn’t work.
Chris: Has Lyon officially replaced Perrin? Seems like a match made in heaven.
Laurie That’s where Inara expects Domenech to go. It would be a good fit
Laurie Rumor for France is Deschamps is next.

Chris: Henry’s band looks like a Grateful Dead armband.
Chris: So has Domenech officially lost his job? Not that he could’ve done anything about that Abidal tackle.
Laurie Ouch. That looked like it hurt for Benzema.
Chris: Henry is going to need to get ridiculously drunk tonight to forget this one.

84′ Henry gets a yellow for what looks like a perfectly good tackle on Zambrotta
Laurie Yellow to Henry now? Yeesh. Well, at least they’re leaving it all on the field.

83′ Cassano cross for Toni, Coupet saves Toni’s header. Great save but Toni ruled offside (or fouled defender, not sure)
Laurie Man, Coupet is on tonight. 2-0 is so undeserved for him.
Chris: Luca and Boumsong were holding hands. Toni needs a new French cuddle buddy now that Ribery is out.
Chris: How cute.
Laurie Awww.

81′ Gatusso off, Aquilani on.
Chris: Gattuso out, out of the next match, whatever it may be….AQUILANI baby.

Laurie Aargh. Clerc was picked over Sagnol because Sagnol can’t cross any more. So what the hell was that?

Laurie Really, other than Henry, France has not had a bad game. Incredibly unlucky.
Chris: Yeah, it’s too bad Abidal wasn’t on the pitch to mark Henry.
Laurie Ha. Ha.

76′ Gallas getting some treatment. Doesn’t look good. No more subs available for France.
Laurie Oh, man. If we lose Gallas, that would just be a fitting end for the day, wouldn’t it?
Chris: Who’s in the back now? Anelka?
Laurie Probably

73′ Benzema with a great curling strike, Buffon with an even better save.

Chris: And that’s why he’s Gianluigi Fucking Buffon
Laurie Oh, nice shot by Benzema. That was vintage Benzema.
Chris: Vintage Buffon as well.
Laurie the only bright spot there is that Buffon is on my fantasy team.
Laurie But Coupet’s had the better game. Who would have thought?
Chris: Well he’s had to.

Chris: Luca needs to go to finishing school. Who would’ve thought I’d be saying that after his year for Bayern?
Laurie He needs Ribery
Laurie So do I.

71′ Yellow for Boumsong after he clatters Toni
Chris: France is yellow happy.

70′ Cassano down.
Laurie Lord, Cassano! What a crybaby lowlife diver.
Chris: Ah, tailbone on Cassano. Those are brutal.
Chris: Tailbone Laurie. Ever hurt that? It really sucks.
Laurie The magic spray there makes me laugh.
Chris: I’m sure it has added benefits.

68′ Henry hurt after running into Camoranesi. Gatusso back on. Henry OK now.

Chris: If Gattuso’s down, he’s hurt. Maybe we;ll finally see some Aquilani.

Chris: All these cheers are killing me. I keep switching channels to see if the Dutch have scored.

[don't worry Chris, still 1-0 there]

66′ Govou off, Anelka on.
Chris: What did I say about Govou?

65′ Cassano put Toni through, but Evra way too fast for him
Chris: What a ball….Evra’s a speedy little guy, ain’t he.
Laurie Evra is amazing. Nobody else on the field could have done that. And why are they putting on Anelka?
Laurie I love Anelka, but he hasn’t exactly been great this year.

Chris: Don’t fuck this up, Oranje. I still have no harsh feelings despite the first game.
Laurie Go, Romania!!

64′ Camoranesi on for Perotta
Chris: Grazie Simone. Here comes The Geisha.

- Looks like it took a deflection of Thierry Henry
Chris: That’s the best finish I’ve seen by Henry all year.

62′ GOAL De Rossi’s free kick is deflected and goes in. 2-0 Italy

Chris: DE ROSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Laurie Oh, shit.
Laurie Poor Coupet.
Chris: CAPITAN FUTURO!!!!!!!!!!!!1

60′ Toni looked through but Coupet was off his line quick.
Chris: I don’t even care if we lose anymore. How the fuck can you sub in Ambro for Pirlo and think it’s a bright idea? I can’t handle another game with this guy as our coach.

Laurie Boumsong is not humiliating himself. Lyon has been good for him.
Laurie That was so a handball.
Laurie Toulalan’s looking fantastic. He’s owning that midfield, which is no easy task when you’re down a midfielder.

Vid of penalty added below.

Chris: Gattuso is going to take 7 years off my life before he retires from the Azzurri.
Laurie But you gotta love him anyway
Chris: I do. The man is a marvel.
Laurie Even I love Gattuso.
Chris: Can we sub off Donadoni?
Chris: The guy runs tactical systems like he’s playing a video game.
Chris: But let’s get back to Donadoni’s stupidity here. AMBRO FOR PIRLO? Come on.
Laurie I blame blackmail photos
Chris: That’s probably the best explanation I’ve ever heard.
Chris: Unfortunately.

1-0 to Netherlands. Good news for Italy.
Chris: GOAL HUNTELAAAAAAAAAAR
Chris: KLAAS JAN

54′ Ambrosini on for Pirlo.
Chris: Seriously. Is Ambro related to Donadoni somehow? FOR PIRLO????????

Chris: Oh Ambroi is warming up. Whaddya fuckin’ know.

53′ Yellow for Gatusso. Italy now without Gatusso and Pirlo if they make the QF
Laurie Gattuso out for a match, if they go through.
Laurie It’s so funny to see somebody else get yellow for taking down Makelele. It’s usually the other way around.

Laurie Italy isn’t looking that sharp. We could have beaten them with our starting lineup.
Chris: I honestly think that penalty may have been the best thing t happen to you. It typically makes them too comfortable. Red card though? Not so much
Chris: Toni’s finishing has been a major disappointment.

Chris: How did Toni get to that ball? Long legs I guess.

51′ Henry with a strike. Not good, straight to Buffon.
Laurie Toulalan’s having a good game too
Chris: Who the fuck is coaching this team right now, Trap?
Laurie Henry is a shadow of the player he used to be.

Laurie Coupet’s playing the way I remember him playing before his knee injury

49′ Benzema with a fierce strike, but over.
Chris: Oh wow.
Laurie AAARGGGGHHHH!! Benzema!
Laurie He would have hit that in the beginning of last season. He was so overworked at Lyon.

Chris: Love Perrotta.
Laurie The game’s slowed down quite a bit.

46′ Govou gets a yellow for a poor slide tackle on Cassano
Laurie Yellow for Govou? Yeesh.
Chris: I also blame Govou for Grosso’s cornrows at the end of the year with Lyon. That was gross.
Lauire Yes, I believe that was a Govou reflection.
Chris: I apologize for gross - Grosso. Inexcusable.

45′ kick off
Chris: No subs, not really surprising. Donadoni loves waiting til the last minute.

Laurie For the record, Chris and I are friends who just happen to disagree where France and Italy are involved.

We’re waiting for simultaneous kickoff I think.

0-0 in the other game. Netherlands vs Romania LiveBlog here. As things stand, Italy is going through.

HALF TIME

48′ Chiellini booked for foul on Henry.
Laurie How much freaking stoppage time are they giving? Isn’t this over yet?
Chris: Ribery injury took a long time plus 2 subs.

47′ Ref stops the game for Evra injury. Donadoni complaining that the game wasn’t stopped for Perotta.
Laurie Oh, no. Not Evra too!!!!!
Chris: Hey, Cassano’s on the pitch. Wow, stop the game for a French player why dont ya.
Chris: Donadoni’s saying the exact same thing. Finally, we’re on similar wavelengths. (And I, just like he, should not be coaching La Nazionale.)

Chris: If they go through the next match has changed dramatically. No Pirlo? yeesh.

Chris: Aquilani now? Del Piero?

44′ Perotta got injured going for the rebound, France broke, Pirlo fouled to stop the break. Pirlo out of QF.
Chris: Bullshit from the French there. Where’s the fair play?
LaurieOh no. Is that Benzema down?
Chris: Now Pirlo has been forced to MISS a fucking match. Classless.
Laurie Magic juice. Makes it all better. And that foul was totally legit. Maybe not worthy of a yellow, though
Chris: Aquilani now? Del Piero?

43′ Grosso hits the post from the free kick
Chris: Oh Fabio……..
Laurie Man, that was close. Coupet is having the game he needed to have on Friday.
Chris: Fuck, is Perrotta hurt?

43′ De Rossi dribbling through but bought down by Toulalan.
Chris: De Rossi is the future of the Azzurri
Chris: That’s a defensive mid ladies & gents.
Laurie Crap, not another free kick.

Laurie Govou’s not real great at winning in the air, is he?

Chris: I still can’t believe Domenech had to use two subs in the first half….and one was for an uninjured sub.

42′ Wonder what Samir Nasri’s thinking right now?

Chris: Who’s playing with 10 men right now? What is this, Roma?

Chris: I’d bet $100,000 we see Ambrosini in the second half.

Laurie Yeesh, Benzema’s back defending.

Laurie I’m glad we still have Evra on the field.

Chris: “The Dutch certainly aren’t trying too hard to win this one, if they aren’t throwing it.” (form Ian’s Netherlands vs Romanis LB) My joy was just ruined.
Laurie Go, Romania! (Unless we miraculously come back.)

37′ Benzema hits the wall, then skies it. Poor.
Laurie Free kicks without Ribery suck.

36′ Henry fouled by Gatusso at the top of the box.
Laurie Benzema is giving up the ball all over the place. I blame Perrin.
Chris That’s reason enough to lose your job. He’s France’s best defender.
Chris I just have one thing to say about this French D: Philippe Mexes.
Laurie Domenech has to be kicking himself over that. And if not, he should be.
Laurie Clerc is getting a baptism by fire in his first big tournament game.
Chris We need one more at least right now. I’d looking forward to some Del Piero supersub action.

33′ Henry drags a shot just wide.
Chris Phew
Laurie Oh, Titi!!!!
Laurie The old Henry would have hit that one.
Laurie I’m suddenly becoming a newly-minted Romania fan

30′ Grosso tackles Henry.
Chris Did Fabio Grosso just play defense? I must be dreaming.
Laurie I actually like Abidal better in the center than at leftback, in general. But he’s never done anything like this before.
Chris It’s funny. Last year when Barca was after Abidal and Chivu I said that Abidal was the better choice because he was least likely to fuck up in a big game. Who knew?

29′ Toni shoots wide after some quick slick passing.
Chris Luca Toni is certainly making up for the first two games here.
Laurie And Gallas is saying, “I didn’t touch him!”
Laurie Well, with this defense, it’s not going to be hard
Laurie I need a drink
Chris Could it be….Thuram would’ve been the better choice?
Chris Hell, Thuram from the start might’ve been better.

Laurie We’re already down to only one sub.
Chris Disaster. Absolute disaster.

Chris HOLY SHIT Luca. What technique from a big man.
Laurie At least Pirlo’s hair no longer looks good.
Chris Like I said, wait until Daniele Dessena comes through the ranks. That kid has golden locks and golden skills.

28′ Toni heads one wide.

26′ Nasri Coming OFF for Boumsong (!)
Laurie I can’t believe that twenty-five minutes in we’re down a man and without Ribery
Chris Hey, thanks for coming out, Samir.
Laurie Nasri off for Boumsong. Oh, this sucks
Chris I’ve never seen anything this disastrous.
Chris Go for the kill, boys. Don’t sit back.
Laurie Me neither.
Chris Is that another Lyon player? Good christ. France should play their home games at the Stade Gerland.
Laurie Boumsong is just not that good. Domenech has to be kicking himself for not taking Mexes
Laurie Yes, six out of ten from Lyon now.

25′ GOAL!!! Pirlo scores. 1-0 Italy
Laurie Coupet can’t stop penalties.
Chris PIRLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Laurie Damn.
Chris What a ball. What a head of hair.

23′ Penalty! Toni down under challeng from Abidal. Abidal off!!!
Chris YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Chris OH SHIT OH SHIT
LaurieOh. SHIT
Oh. Shit. We’ll never survive this
Chris Yeah LUCAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Chris What a fucking touch.
Laurie FUCKING DIVER
Chris He got him. Clearly, Laurie.

Chris Zambro hasn’t been on Milan’s books long enough to be a brilliant aging fullback yet
Laurie 59% possession for France? It doesn’t feel like it.
Chris Quality of possession is probably a different stat.

Laurie i hadn’t realized how Lyon-heavy this lineup is.
Laurie Coupet, Clerc, Toulalan, Govou, Benzema
Laurie Coupet is on today. Yea, Coupet

19′ Govou drags a shot wide. Very wide.
Laurie ACK! He had Clerc overlapping! Why did he cross?!?
Chris Because’s he’s Govou

-
Laurie Arg. that was scary.
Chris Who missed that? Three great chances so far. And I can’t believe Pirlo just took part in taking Henry off the ball. Thierry’s cooked.

17′ Evra gets a yellow for taking down Cassano.
Laurie Oh, get up, Cassano you baby.
Chris There we go. Let’s se some yellows.

Laurie And Cassano blows a snot rocket and wipes his nose with his fingers. Sexy.
Laurie Wait. I didn’t just say that.

Laurie Our defense it much better than on Friday.
Chris It’s younger and less-Thruamish.
Laurie That hurts my heart when you dis Lilian, Chris.
Laurie Only I can dis Lilian.
Chris Hey, I don’t like to see once great players play like this either.

15′ De Rossi just having his nosebleed mopped up.
Laurie Oh, Benzema. I’m hoping for better from him.

Chris I love Perrotta. One of the most unappreciated players on the planet.
Chris Of course he couldn’t finish with Pele’s boots.

10′ Panucci striker saved. Does he think he’s a striker???
Chris Panucci! God, Mr. Clutch nearly again.
Chris I swear, that man gets better with age.

9′ Ribery stretchered off, young Samir Nasri coming on.
Laurie Nasri going on? Is that what I see?
Chris Standing O for Ribery. Tough way to go out.
Chris Laurie, you cursed Les Bleus with your earlier comment about Nasri.
Laurie And now Italy gets a free kick.
Laurie what did I say about NAsri?
Chris He’d be coming off the bench. And now he is.

7′ Ribery injured. I think he’s done.
Chris Uh oh…….
Laurie Oh, no. If we lose Ribery, that’s the game
Laurie There’s no way we could survive it
Chris Wow, I hate to see guys go down, but if it’s going to be somebody…
Laurie Chris, you’re an ass.
Laurie I hope DeRossi breaks his leg
Chris More worrying: With this pitch, he may not be the last.
-

Laurie I’m really glad I didn’t have more caffeine. I thought about it.
Chris I’m on red bull #3
Chris My heart may no survive he half
Laurie My heart would literally explode if I did that.

5′ Ribery crosses, apparently to no one.
LaurieAARRGGHH! Ribery! What the hell are you doing?
Chris We’re going to need a consensus on that: cross or shot?

Laurie These long balls are going to kill us
Chris I love having two capable playmakers back there.

4′ Long ball through, Luca Toni shoots wide. Golden chance
ChrisLUCA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Chris God he had space.
Laurie Oh. My. Lord. My heart is going 200 beats a minute

2′ French corner, nothing comes of it.
Laurie Corner!!
Laurie Although we suck at set pieces, so I don’t know what I’m so excited about.

Chris I think Luca Toni is going to two foot Ribery today. I think that commercial was a bunch of shit.
Chris Luca Toni with the four star boots. Love it.
Laurie I’d expect Nasri to come off the bench later.
Chris I expect my lunch to come off the bench later.

0′ Kickoff!

Kickoff imminent…

Chris Domenech’s eyebrows frighten me. Those things are like a Chia Pet experiement gone horribly wrong.

Laurie Don’t dis Domenech. I love Domenech.

National anthems…

Chris Forza Alena Seredova!

Laurie The Marseillaise at ninety miles an hour again.

5 mins to go…

Chris Oh great, wet pitch

Chris The fates are conspiring this tournament.

Laurie I kind of wish Frey were starting instead of Coupet. The experience dealing with the Italians could be immense

Chris Oh, UEFA said no shootouts for 3rd place. Thank christ.

10 mins to go….

Chris I bet Simone Perrotta pulls a Mario Gomez today. It’s fate.

Laurie The key for France will be to not concede early. I can’t remember the last time France came back from a deficit.

Chris The other key will be for said fan not to do the same thing to Domenech.

LaurieMaybe they can take a page out of yesterday’s book and get both coaches sent off

Chris Seeing Cassano in the XI gives me goosebumps. He’s the only person on the planet that can possible fill Totti’s shoes.

Chris Seeing Cassano in the XI gives me goosebumps. He’s the only person on the planet that can possible fill Totti’s shoes.

Laurie [Referring to previous discussion where Daryl says Thuram and Sagnol asked to be benched for the good of the team.] They are class players. I adore them both.

Gary Lineker is explaining the ins and outs of the various Group C permutations. Complicated. But basically both teams need a win.

15 mins to kickoff kids.

Chris Rumor is Donadoni was going to bench Pirlo so they had Canna fly him back to Firenze and locked him in the locker room at Coverciano Moggi-style

Chris Or maybe that was a dream I had last night

Laurie Lord, my stomach hurts
-

Laurie So what was the deal with Buffon’s cravat vs. romania, anyway?

Chris He’s experimenting with footy fashion. During qualifying it was the “Turban with a Sunroof” and now it’s17th century formal wear.

For Biscotto watchers, here’s the Dutch lineup:

Stekelenburg, Heitinga, De Cler, Bouma, Boulahrouz, De Zeeuw, Engelaar, Afellay, Van Persie, Robben, Huntelaar

Laurie Front looks strong-ish. Back looks weak-ish.

Laurie If I were a betting person, I wouldn’t be putting money on this game mattering.

Chris I think Stekelenburg may become my least favorite person in the world by the end of the day.

Chris And I wish Heitinga hadn’t signed for Athletico yet. I’d rather he was fighting for a contract right now.

France lineup:

Coupet:
Clerc, Gallas, Abidal, Evra
Govou, Toulalan, Makelele, Ribery
Benzema, Henry

Chris - GOVOU? This is going to be easier than I thought.

Laurie - Govou’s had a great year for Lyon. That searching for a buyer thing

Italy lineup:

Buffon;
Zambrotta. Chiellini, Panucci, Grosso;
Gattuso, Pirlo, De Rossi;
Perrotta, Cassano;
Toni.

Chris - CAAAASSAANOOOOOOOOOOOOO
alright, now I feel like we have a chance

Laurie - I hope Cassano gets red carded in the fourth minute

OK, we’ve got a LiveBlog extravaganza on here. Because it would be unfair for Laurie (France) or Chris (Italy) to be LiveBlogging this individually, we’re going to have them both doing it simultaneously, with myself arbitrating. Should be… interesting.