Euro 2008 LIVEBLOG: Italy vs Netherlands

GROUP C	June 9th, 2045 CET, Berne (Switzerland)
Italy 0 VS Netherlands 3   van Nistelrooy 26′, Sneijder 31′, van Bronkhorst 80′

FULLTIME: And that’s that. Well done to the clear and deserved winners, the Dutch.

90′ Guys who should be on the pitch against Romania from today: Buffon, Panucci, Barzagli, Zambrotta, Grosso, Pirlo, Toni. And under a new coach. Fuck it, call up Casiraghi. He just won Toulon.

88′ Actually glad Netherlands scored the 3rd goal. It leaves out the controversy of the first one and allows it to be what it be: the Azzurri were annihilated. Oh, van Persie almost makes it 4. Sweet.

87′ Playing for the closing whistle now. Might be the best idea they’ve had all day.

85 I think Gattuso would make a great Musketeer. Perfect facial hair and floppy locks combo.

83′ Ah, almost 4 by Affellay. Absolutely no fight against the counter attack today from the Azzurri. Unbelievable.

81′ So now the question: Does Donadoni wake up with a job tomorrow morning? Lippi to the rescue!

79′ van Bronkhorst, 3-0.

78′ Free kick in Pirlo range…….what a fucking save by van der Sar. MOTM right now.

Grosso in point blank range, saved by van der Sar and they can’t pick up the rebound. So many chances coming now.

77′ Heiting on for Khalid the Cannibal. Easy shot by Engelaar saved by Buffon.

76′ Oh Luca….brilliant ball by Cassano and Toni puts it well high.

75′ 3 subs, still the Milan midfield. Of course.

Camo off for CAASSSSANOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

74′ If TOny scores a goal and Italy loses 2-1 I’m going to fire my laptop out the window. He should’ve started the half.

72′ Have to say, whether or not that goal was offside is rather irrelevant. Dutch deserve this. Donadoni deserves a pink card (or slip).

HERE COMES CASSANO.

70′ Del Piero cutting in, fires high. Gotta score that when you’re down.

Here comes van Persie for Ruud.

68′ Corner headed out by a sizable margin. Cheeky little run by Grosso, cross cleared out. Camo taken down, play on.

67′ The defense looks much much better. Gorgeous ball by Pirlo, Grosso sends one in, deflects for a corner.

66′ Del Piero nice shot saved by EVDS.

64′ Long ball from GG to ADP puts Alex just offside.

63′ Here comes Del Piero, on for Di Natale. Fine enough, but the best talent on the team is still on the pine in Cassano.

Forza Alex.

What a free kick from Pirlo….god, so close to a goal. Just wide left.

61′ Alright, Gattuso is itching for a second yellow here. God he’s going to take years off my life.

60′ Long ball to Luca is put down well but he weakly turns it on goal. Another sub soon, please.

59′ Head tennis not going well….Pirlo on the ball, Ambro fouled.

58′ Dutch maintaining possession. Toni tracking back, that’s when you know they’re in trouble. Win a counter, Ambro taken down, yellow for De Jong.

56′ Grosso in for Matrix. Panucci slots in centrally.P Azzurri showing some heart, ball over the top from Pirlo is headed out. Zambro’s taking a beating now.

53′ Zambro just misses a brilliant goal….cuts the ball back from just near the touch and fires wide on a tight shot.

52′ Materazzi concedes a corner because he was a-bumblin and a-stumblin’. Chiellini for Romania, thanks much.

51′ Rino finally gets a yellow.

Decent ball by Gattuso to Camo but it’s a bit too long.

48′ Di Natale gives a gift to Holland, amazing amount of space on the right. What’s happening, Christian?

46′ Luca puts the ball down, loses it, Ambro goes flying in for the loose ball in the box, corner….headed out for a goal kick.

Oh, no subs. Of course not. Brilliant, Donadoni, brilliant.

Sneijder goal:

Ruud’s goal:

HALFTIME: There’s only one answer, caution to the wind, it’s time to control the midfield and see what the hell the best player on the team can do. Time for Cassano.

46′ Nice shot by Di Natale, hard but high from 6-8 yards out. Is it halftime yet? Actually, is it over yet?

Ruud wants a PK, no dice. Now that I think about it, the Dutch aren’t beating Italia, Real Madrid is.

44′ Buffon saves RvN 1v1. Matrix was in no man’s land there.

(He looked offside. Shocker.)

43′ And the first bit of good news for the day: The FIGC has 10 days after the end of the tournament to shred Donadoni’s contract. I’d be surprised if it isn’t already in half right now.

42′ Camo sends a poor ball in when the boys had a great chance. No execution today.

41′ Kuijy slaps Matrix, Marco forgives. How seet. Long ball, deep throw for the Azzurri.

39′ What subs are needed? Cassano? Aquilani? Sounds like a start.

38′ Nice tackle by Zambro. Sneijder’s shot blocked, there was #3.

37′ Camo deflects a cross to EVDS. GREAT backheel to a Dutch midfielder by Ambrosini.

I’m not bitter.

36′ Ruud offside, so the flags do work.

35′ This midfield is getting owned by the Dutch right now. No surprise.

33′ At least they’re fighting now. Possession in the Dutch half. for the Azzurri. A start. Great ball from Camo and volley by Di Natale, saved by EVDS.

30′ Zambro wins a corner here on a nice run, Pirlo……cleared off the line. Shit. Here comes the counter, a fucking airplane hanger. Goal Sneijder.

I’m fine with this. Get Donadoni out before he embarrasses us defending the World Cup.

29′ Little bit of life being interjected here. They need it.

That is the worst offside I have ever seen. 3-4 yards?

WOW WHAT A FUCKING OFFSIDE. WOW. Thjis is bullshit.

25′ Ambrosini takes down RvdV, free kick….goal Netherlands.

Was inevitable.

24′ Holy fark….great ball in from a deep free kick and The Matrix gets his noggin on it just before a swooping Ruudo. Good christ, how about some sustained, productive possession here.

23′ Free kick a little too high for Luca but a good idea. These good ideas need to start translating.

22′ Ball in the Dutch half, but not much coming from it right now. Netherlands outplaying them at this point. Difficult to get anything going.

Ambro fouled twice. Fantastic. (I like him, I really do - just don’t want him on the field.)

20′ Toto needed to tie his shoe. All good now.

This midfield is not inspiring any confidence right now. Ditto for the back line.

18′ Camo gets hacked in the foot. Seems alright.

Sneijder puts one high.

17′ Dutch holding……Whoa, RvN thru 1 v 1 had an open goal but too strong a touch and the ball is eventually safe. That coulda shoulda woulda been a Dutch goal.

16′ Ruud turns on the ball, weak shot towards goal from 5 yards out.

Long ball out for a blue goal kick.

15′ Dutch percentage of attack:

Left - 97%
Right - 3%

Afraid of Ambro, I guess.

12′ van Brockhorst takes down Panucci harshly. No card.

11′ Shot saved easily by Buffon. Camo with some trickery…..Gattuso into Toni, headed wide. Good stuff there. It’ll come.

10′ Gattuso hacks down RvdV, no yellow. Always forget about my “Gattuso Heartrate” during Azzurri games. Heartrate always doubles whenever Ivan is making tackles.

Barz takes down Ruud, free kick in position…..fires it into his own teammate’s ass.

9′ Pirlo’s just brilliant.

8′ Pirlo with a beaut to GG, sent into Di Natale and his flick was a bit off. Good idea. That’s a start.

7′ Shot by Oranje blocked in the box…Toni fouled in transition.

Toni holds up well, ball sent into the box a little strong and a goalkick to the Dutch.

6′ Good point by the commentators (rarity): The entire lineup aside from Barz, 27, is over 30. This is how you try and assure yourself employment.

5′ GvB takes down Camo…Dutch liveblog is kind of easy. Lots of identifiable initials.

3′ TACKLE BY PIRLO! TACKLE BY PIRLO!…who says he can’t play D?

Di Natale makes a nice run, little too overzealous with his crossshot.

2′ Nice shirts for the Oranje, but those baby blue socks are a brutal accessory. Fashion consultant: Stevie Wonder.

Tough bounce picked up by Gigi with RvN running in.

1′ Gattuso flubs the first pass. Dutch put it out wide for a throw. Zambro’s rocking Jimmy Johnson-esque immovable hair.

KICKOFF

The Dutch unis look much better on them than standing alone. And the Azzurri are wearing those hideous blue glorified undershirts. Puma or Calvin Klein?

Here we go, teams are on the pitch and everyone’s singing the national anthem.

Carlo Ancelotti, Milan coach (obviously the position Donadoni aspires to), just yesterday:

“I am happy that Roberto Donadoni called up three of our Italian midfielders and I think that shows that our midfield is perfectly in order,” he claimed.

“But Daniele De Rossi has to play because he is someone you just can’t leave out. Sadly that means that one of my lads will have to miss out.”

Now predicting Romania and the Netherlands to go through the groups because Mr. Milan himself, Donadoni, has no clue how to coach a team. What a complete joke.

Lineups from UEFA.:

Oranje:

Van der Sar;
Ooijer, Boulahrouz, Mathijsen, Van Bronckhorst;
De Jong, Engelaar;
Kuyt, Van der Vaart, Sneijder;
Van Nistelrooy.

Azzurri:

Buffon;
Panucci, Materazzi, Barzagli, Zambro;
Gettuso, Pirlo, @#$%ing Ambrosini;
Camo, Toni, Di Natale.

Question: If Donadoni was fired today, who would offer him a job? Cagliari? Empoli? Salernitana?

And now, as a complete surprise to no one, Romania and France manage a scoreless draw.

I’m now deciding whether I want the Azzurri to win or go 0-0-3 in the groups so Donadoni gets fired and we actually have a chance to defend the world title in South Africa.

-~One hour. 7 minutes plus injury time left in the Romania - France game and I think every Italian is rooting for the tricolorii.

Rumor is Ambrosini is in the starting lineup. You know all that stuff I wrote the other day about any XI being a great XI? All bullshit. Donadoni is a fucking idiot.

Disclaimer: This here liveblog will be devoid of objectivity, neutrality and shame. You have been forewarned. Forza Italia.