Awards of the Day: Germany v Turkey

Player of the Day: Philipp Lahm, proof that all it takes is one ball to be hero for the day. After getting baked on the standard Turkish equalizer in the 86th, Lahm made all kinds of amends with his clutch finish in the 91st, and Lahm goes from goat to hero in the snap of a finger.

Kodak Moment of the Day: That one, over there. Yes, that’s a German supporter eating a large snausage.

No honey, go on, no one’s looking.

Bizarre Stat of the Day: Turkey is 2-0-1 against Germany in their last 3 matches. But…but..but…it’s TURKEY.

Or they were.

Taste of Your Own Medicine Award: Switzerland, Czech Republic and Croatia must be positively loving this one. 91st minute? Stings a bit, doesn’t it.

Shiner of the Day: Simon Rolfes. Most 15 year veteran professional prizefights would’ve been proud of the bruising he sported after his his flush head to head hit. The gushing blood was a nice effect as well.

Strange Substitution Award: Torsten Frings for Rolfes. Simon was hit so damn hard I’d be shocked if he wasn’t answering to Maria and speaking in a Latino dialect in the locker room, so his substitution was obviously understandable (plus that whole not being able to see out of your eye thing? not good). But taking out a guy who’d been KO’d for a guy with broken ribs at the half must’ve put the medical staff on alert for heart issues….with the medical staff.

Best Fluorescent Lobster Bib: Michel Platini. Couldn’t they have just made t-shirts?

Best Use of Blackout Time Award: Andy Gray, who reportedly finished a fifth of Johnny Walker and fathered at least 2.5 children, one with Julie Foudy, during the time out. And rumor is while in the midst of his second throw, he muttered “take a bow, son”. Well done, sir. Cesc will be proud.

Can I Please Have Your Left Foot Award: Thomas Hitzelsperger. I dream of the day when a rich gazillionaire (Roman, I’m lookin’ at you) will purchase a nothing club and buy up the best rocket launchers money can buy. Guys like Hitzelsperger, Taye Taiwo, John Arne Riise, Denis Kolodin and Roberto Carlos (necessitating a formation featuring 3 on the left somewhere). Then just send then out on the field with the instructions “anything within the half…ish…is fair game”. Screw joga bonito, I’d pay a tidy sum to watch 90 minutes of target practice. (I’d probably sell my car if Dida or Jens Lehmann were playing net too.)

Matchup of the Day: Who else?

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