Awards of the Day: June 10th

Player of the Day: Step right up, David Villa. So who do you think disliked his performance more: Russians or the bevy of teams chasing his signature from Valencia right now?

Team of the Day: I’m tempted to hand this to Sweden just for actually scoring against Greece’s 12 man backline, but it was Spain for their clinical execution against Mother Russia.

Best Celebration Picture: That one.

Man Sandwich of the Day: (Ladies feel free to go grab the smelling salts.) Freddie Ljungberg, who was the Swedish meat between two slices of Greek bread - two BIG slices - in Traianos Dellas and Sotirios Kyrgiakos. Freddie was a bit woozy, no surprise there.*

* - Laurie wrote this.

Ron Burgundy “I AM A MAN!” Award: Olof Mellberg. That beard is amazing. I’m assuming that despite making huge bucks for Juve now he’ll still hunt breakfast with his bare hands, use steel wool as a face cloth and brush his teeth with a grill cleaner.

I Hate My Coach Award: Vladimir Bystrov, who came on at halftime against Spain….and was then taken off uninjured 25 minutes later. Even better was the look of pure confusion when he saw his number on the board, after which Guus refused to even acknowledge him when he came off the field. I’m guessing this doesn’t bode well for his playing time the rest of the tournament.

Holy Shit I Am Fucking Good Award: Zlatan. Just because we need an excuse to show that missile again.

Ruud van Nistelrooy Award*: To Cesc Fabregas, who got a goal that wasn’t really a goal at all. These linesmen have been falling asleep at the wheel often, haven’t they?

* - This is a joke, not an invitation to post Article 11.8.2.45.119.3.0 of FIFA’s bylaws again. Capisce?

David Villa Award: For the guy who raised his price the most today. Besides David Villa. Obviously. To Yuri Zhirkov, who is more of a left winger than a left back, but was still making surging runs from the back like he’s the second coming of Gianluca Zambrotta. Also sliced and diced his way through plenty of Spanish defenders on multiple occasions. Helluva skill set along with raw pace and ability, he’ll be on a few Western European Wish Lists now.

Unsurprising Insight From A Complete Genius Award: To Tommy Smyth, who said that Milan finished in 5th and Roma finished 2nd, so why not play the Roma midfield instead of the Milan version for Italy on Friday. Brilliant! The world should listen to this man.

(No, I’m not biased.)