Awards of the Day: June 11th

Player of the Day: Deco. The Little Magician was fantastic today and showed his quality through and through, slicing through the Czech Republic, sending out intelligent passes and playing for the team. Funny, because just the other day he said “My future does not rest on what happens at the European Championships“. May not, but it sure didn’t hurt. Also not hurting is the fact that one of his two options, Chelsea, just signed his current NT coach.

Team of the Day: Switzerland, because this’ll be the last chance and they in no way, shape or form deserve to be going staying home. Unluckiest team in the tournament by far.

Fan of the Day: The lovely Portuguese fan from North London on the left, who was apparently so overjoyed at the victory she literally pissed herself in delight (still holding out hope the pants were designed that way - the hope is not strong). That not being enough, she decided to show us her jiggly parts. Sexy.

Oh How We Miss Thee Award: Tomas Rosicky, because they’re just quite simply an entirely different monster when he’s healthy and playing. Plus this strange ball is tailor-made for him.

I Just Duped A Decent Club Into Signing Me Again Award: Milan Baros. Where the fuck did that come from? This guy went 0-16 with Portsmouth in the second half of the year, didn’t even play against Switzerland and he’s running through Portugal like he’s a homeless man’s Messi. Guess what? If you’re a fan of a decent team and you need a striker, look out, because Milan might be on the way, impressing only during international breaks.

Fingers Crossed Stat of the Day: Five days in and zero red cards. If they can make it through tomorrow it’ll be a fantastic feat, but it’ll surely crumble Friday: rumor has it Antonio Cassano is starting.

Pitch of the Tournament Award: Whatever the hell that oversized Slip N’Slide mat they had in Basel today was fantastic. That was the most fun I’ve had watching two teams I couldn’t care less about in a long time. Proposal: Every team knocked out of the tournament in the group stages is forced to play their own knockout rounds on a pitch simulated with those conditions. It’d be like the UEFA Cup, except way cooler.

Not Going To Be Sleeping Well Tonight Award: Hakan Yakin. He already had one, but………..

Matchup of the Day: Really disappointed in the, umm, talent photographers have been spotting in the stands during the games thus far. But we’ll try the best we can from now on to provide you with the best matchups. Can’t fault us for trying, right?