Awards of the Day: Spain v Russia

Player of the Day: Sergio “Hot As Balls” Ramos. All over the place, stuffing Russian attackers, hassling Russian defenders. Probably the first game he’s played up to his capabilities this tournament. And I love defenders with an identity crisis, particularly hybrid rightback-strikers.

Fan of the Day: Pic wasn’t from today, but it works nonetheless.

As if being dumped out by Russia wasn’t enough, Holland has to live with this guy as one of its own. Cruel, cruel world.

If This Were Club Football, He’d Need To Return His Paycheck Award: Iker Casillas. It’s not like he wouldn’t save them anyway, but seriously, let’s hope Germany actually puts him to the test more than once.

And what’s the record for most int’l caps by anyone ever? Because Iker is freshly 27 and already sporting 80+ caps in a position where he probably won’t hit his prime for another 3 years. After that? Is it a stretch to say he could go another 10 years for Spain? Don’t think so. Whatever the record is, he may have a legitimate shot.

Dumbass of the Day: Andy Gray. Because Andy Gray should win this award every day he’s alive.

We’ll pay any of the fine female readers here a hefty sum to walk a pair of bare breasts into the studio at Bristol during the first minute of the final so he gets distracted and decides on a mid-afternoon lap dance. If you give said lap dance and it lasts 90 minutes plus halftime, we’ll pay your way through college. (Or trucking school, whichever it may be.)

Fuck You Football Gods Award: Spain, for the yellow jerseys. Not sure if Russia won the right to choose or Spain chose their unlucky kit, but whatever, it’s the year of spiking curses. I thought the lightning hovering over the stadium was ominous, guess not.

Useless Stat of the Day: Germany has won 6 of 12 major tournament finals while Spain is 1 of 2. So according to history, Spain and Germany have an equal chance of winning.

Picture my eyes rolling in an extremely exaggerated manner right now.

Happiest Blogger of the Day: Daryl, who will be covering the final. Why? Three reasons:

1. Pavlyuchenko
2. Bilyaletdinov
3. Ignashevich

Also, Kazakhstan should be banned from every international competition. Ever.

Cruel Goal of the Day: Xavi’s first goal. Akinfeev was never going to stop a shot from that point with that much pace that wasn’t directly at him, but to add insult to injury, it went five hole.

Matchup of the Day: Pavel Nedved’s sister v A couple of Spanish girls from next door.

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