Five Things We Learned at Euro 2008, June 8th

1. You can’t make an offside trap out of Poles
Poland’s attempts to push out and catch Podolski and Klose offside were comical. I’m no expert, but don’t offside traps require everyone to run in the same direction?

2. A certain Austrian lady should throw away her underwear now
She won’t be needing these.

3. Croatia miss Eduardo
We all knew this would happen. But it was painfully obvious today. Croatia never really looked like scoring from open play.

4. The Golden Boot could be Podolski sized
Two goals, and from the left wing. Imagine if they let him play up front? And he could teach Croatia’s Mladen Petric a thing or two about when and when not to take left footed volleys too .

5. Poland actually won…
… if UEFA have adopted our new expatriot scoring system. Still no word from head office, but you never know. We (not very scientifically) calculate Podolski as being 25% German and 75% Polish, so his two gaols today mean the result was Poland 1.5 – 0.5 Germany.