Hello, Hot Kitten … and Other Gems From the Euro 2008 Phrasebook

I don’t know about you all, but if I walked up to a girl in a bar and said “Hello, hot kitten”, I would get a response somewhere on the scale between silence and a drink in my face. But, of course one has to do as the Romans do, or in the case of Euro 2008, the Austrians. According to a new language guide being prepared for the tournament’s foreign visitors, “Servas, fesche Katz” (literally, hello, hot kitten) is a perfectly appropriate way of saying hello.

A few other choice phrases that someone thinks you absolutely need to know to get around on the streets of Vienna during the tournament:

Ham Se an Kaiserschmoan mit Zwetschknroesta? – “Do you have a sliced sugared pancake with plum compote?” … seems rather specific. What if my compote tastes range more toward the apple? Am I just out of luck?

Fia mi bitte no a Soizguakn – “Another gherkin for me, please” … are the pickles really that good in Austria, that “I want another pickle” ranks above the classic “Where is the bathroom?” for importance?

Kuess die Hand, gnae Frau – no literal translation, but it’s apparently what you say when you kiss a woman’s hand, which I guess is still done in Austria. Good on them. To me, this is a classic sign of respect and admiration, but I have to guess that in many places, it’s more likely to get you a shot of pepper spray than a smile.

From the few examples they’ve released, it’s clear what the writers of this phrasebook think fans will have on their minds during the tournament. It’s not football, but food and women. Though this might be true, the occassional football-related quote, like “That was a cynical foul” or “Check out Ronaldo’s new handbag” would be very helpful too.